This message is for any non-human visitors to Earth: we are not ready. Humans are a savage species—greedy, power-hungry, and prone to self-destruction. Our current leader? You’d probably laugh—not because they’re funny, but because they are completely inept and morally bankrupt.

If you plan on making peaceful contact, now is not the time. If you’re here to enslave us and plunder our resources… well, that might actually be the perfect moment.